Acceptable:

Dear friends and family. I realize that I am such a nice, handsome, friendly guy that you all love so much that you just don't know how to express it. Well, because I am that nice guy I have written this post to relieve you of the stress, worry, and frustration of what would be an acceptable way to express your love for me:

These would be acceptable gifts:



-Basset Hound
-Beagle
-Bloodhound
-Any variation of coonhound
-Dachshund
-Elkhound
-Finnish Spitz
-Foxhound
-Greyhound
-Rhodesian Ridgeback
-Brittany
-English Setter
-German Pointer (short or wirehaired)
-Gordon Setter
-Hungarian Vizsla
-Irish Setter
-Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever
-English Pointer
-Labrador Retriever
-English Cocker Spaniel
-Weimaraner
-Airedale
-Bull Terrier
-Fox Terrier (Smooth or Wirehaired)
-Irish Terrier
-Jack Russel Terrier
-Scottish Terrier
-Welsh Terrier
-Bulldog
-Dalmatian
-Standard Schnauzer
-Alaskan Malamute
-Australian Cattle Dog
-Belgian Shepherd Dog
-Bernese Mountain Dog
-Border Collie
-Boxer
-Collie (Rough or Smooth)
-Dobermann
-German Shepherd Dog
-German Pinscher
-Rottweiler
-Siberian Husky


Unacceptable:
-Any dog small enough that if I step on it I could kill it
-Any dog that can use a litter box
-Any dog whose name begins with the word "Toy"
-Any dog that I could lose in my apartment when it is full grown
-Any dog that our 9 week old kitten could beat up
-Any dog that I would be required to say, "It's my wife's" in order to keep my manhood


All acceptable gifts can be sent to

5955 Bois Ile Drive Apt. 43
Haslett, MI 48840

All unacceptable gifts can be sent to

Attn: Christine Webb
5955 Bois Ile Drive Apt. 43
Haslett, MI 48840



You are welcome.